


I'm (not) Fine

by an_anna



Category: NU'EST
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-23 23:44:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13201119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/an_anna/pseuds/an_anna
Summary: Aron always said he is fine. Is he?





	I'm (not) Fine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [B2Min](https://archiveofourown.org/users/B2Min/gifts).



> Ps : Everything that happened in here are taking from my imagination, not really happening on real life, I take some of the part from their interview of their real live. I dont have grudge over Han Song Soo, believe me. I just need something from him to make this story.

Aron knows, what he is doing right now will come to an end. He just cant believe, it’s ending so soon, he's just 24. He still has so many things to dream of. The news came sooner than he thought. It’s still the beginning of the year. The hype of new year is not even over yet, but the news can’t come later. It was 10 am when Jonghyun's phone rang in the living room. They were having simple breakfast, some of them just watching the television.

"Who?" Baekho simply asked.

"Manager-hyung. Isn’t is strange? We have nothing to do right?" Jonghyun asked the other.

"Maybe we'll have some schedule. Wouldn't that be great?" Minki shrugged it off. 

But Aron could sense that there was something wrong. How he wished Jonghyun didn’t pick up the phone. How he wished that call never came. The call lasted for 10 minutes. The other members were still watching the television while eating their breakfast. But Aron's appetite was gone now- he saw Jonghyun's face change drastically. He knew something is going to happen.

"We need to get ready," are the only words from Jonghyun's lips after the call ends 

"Where to?"

Jonghyun already has his jacket on, "Office," the tone is serious.

There lies, on the table in the meeting room, a sheet of paper. Aron recognized one of the logo on that paper. Mnet, and a blue triangle.

"Sit," the boss told them.

Jonghyun took the guts to sit right in front of him, while Aron just sat in the far left.

"Produce 101?" Baekho's voice broke the silence.

"Yes. Where the Pledis Girls went to try and debut in I.O.I..”

"Isn’t it only for trainees?" finally Minki asked.

"Then go back to being a trainee," Aron fists curled up, if the man in front of him was not his boss- who paid him- he’d definitely punched him hard. The older man in front of them stood up. "You dont have any choice, do you?"

All of their gazes were on the floor. Even the paper was lying helplessly on the table.

"Should all of us go? Or just one or two?" Aron started voicing out.

He swore he saw his boss smirk and look at him straight in the eyes. "We need drama, obviously, " he sayid, eyes still on Aron.

It was 5 seconds long, or maybe 5 minutes in Aron's mind. In a swift moment, the boss glances to the other four.

"You four, go. And you, stay," he said, sitting in the table in front of Aron. He’s making his blood boil.

Aron takes the chance to stand up, but is then pushed down into his chair. "Son, unless you have a better idea to pay your debt, you better agree with me."

They were left alone in the room with ‘Produce 101’s proposal. Jonghyun stopped himself from even opening anding read the full proposal. 

"We don’t really need to go to that shitty show, right?" Dongho never really liked to hide his opinions.

"As the boss said, unless we have better idea to pay off our debt," Jonghyun said easily.

And then another silence came, "No matter how hard we try, our debt still there. Even if we have another chance again, I am afraid, is either pay off our debt or bringing more debt to our tab. Boss is right, we don’t really have a choice, the only opportunity that came to us is this. Why don’t we join it?" Jonghyun tried to explain.

"But, what if there's a member that joins the debut team. We will separated, won’t we?" Minhyun spoke up.

"Isnt it better? At least one of us can help to pay off the debt. Isn’t it also better that at least they are survive? We don’t even know what will happen with this group. Even if we join that show, its no guarantee that we can still hold this group together.”

"Will it make any difference? Join or not? In the end the company will disband us, right?" Minki's straightforwardness is something.

"Don’t you wanna try? I find this intersting. The dramas on television is not worth making me stay, and the public need more drama. We can provide it," Baekho start to smile.

"Whatever you guys choose, I will support it. Even though they told me to not join you, you guys know that I will always be here and supporting your backs," Aron's opinion ended their talk that day.

It was February, when four of them going out to take the audition for produce 101. Aron woke up early to watch his brothers start another journey. He packed some biscuits for them, maybe Mnet will not give his brothers proper meals, who knows.

They didn’t need tears, sobbing or crying, they only needed supportive hugs, and assurance that everything will pay off. Aron gave that- assurance and support. It was one night, after the other four went to the Produce's dorm that Aron's phone rings. Minki's calling. The call doesn’t last long, and mostly, it’s just Minki crying and him calming the younger. But still, Aron felt grateful. Hearing his brother's voice is enough.

A few days after Minki's call, they were back. Aron welcomed them, he even cooks a meal for their dinner that night. It’s a silent night, and they devoured Aron's pasta. But nobody mentioned their condition for the past few days.

"Don’t you want to know?" Jonghyun asked after they were done with their dishes.

"If you want to talk, I will listen. But if you want me to know from broadcasting video, it’s totally fine too," Aron said.

Baekho sat in the sofa and turned on the television, the sounds filling the cold living room, "To put it simply? It’s hell," He said, eyes still on the monitor.

Aron didn’t want to push others, but he made sure that members knew that he is always there. If they needed support, if they needed a hug, if they needed a shoulder to lean on and a ear to listen, he would always there. Whenever a member make the news, Aron tried to not open it. He was afraid of seeing bad comments about them. He was afraid of reading things such as ‘failure’- that he is a failure. The company made an excuse for him- his knee injury. Altough it was true, he hadn’t fully recovered, but it sounded like it was his fault. He knew people wouldd assume that he didn’t really want to save Nu’est- not like the other four. 

It was after the first elimation shooting. Aron was glad all the member survived. Aron watched the show- he didn’t tell the others- but they probably know it. Aron texted the manager, hoping to get some spoiler but also told the manager to not let the members think about him and let them enjoy themselves in the Produce's dorm. The talk in the Nu’est dorm about Produce 101 was mostly about the other contestants; how Minhyun was being wooed by Minki's model friend, or the tons of younger boys around Minki. Talking about missions and such things never happened in Nu’est's dorm.

Not long after, the scond mission starts and now, they needed to stay longer. Aron went to the Pledis office to ask permission to go back home. He had nothing to do in Seoul, and he had went back to his hometown, in LA. He met with his parents, sisters, and friends. He missed his home, even though it was a short trip. But it was enough to make Aron feel better, because no one knows him better than his parents, and he was glad that at least he could have meet them. Aron managed to back to Korea right after the filming of second elimination, and he is glad all of his members were still in the game.

Aron made a motto: he would not be the one who drags Nu’est down anymore. While the others try their luck on shitty shows, Aron stayed in the basement and kept up with his training. When the show over, he promise to himself, Nu’est would be greater than before. Aron suppress any bitter feelings and swallowed down all the lumps in his throat. He would not complain to the other four members. He made sure the othes knew that he was there for them, and that they didn’t need to worry for him. The members worrying about him should be the least of their prioriries.

After the third elimination, Minki came to him to hug him, crying, telling him that he almost got eliminated. Aron soothed him and told him its going to be fine. Minki was, and still is, amazing and everybody knows it. But Aron also knew, that Minki had no screen time. And he realized that night that the end is closer that he thought. It hit Aron hard, at least one member will be separated, right? But what if its more than one? Could they survive? Aron kept that question for himself- there was no way he would let the others hear it.

It was the night after the final. Aron watched, of course. Well, same as the others, he felt sad when he knew that he would be separated with Minhyun for one and half years. He couldn’t lie that he felt great Jonghyun didn’t enter the top 11, even tough he knew that a lot of people regretted it. At least, Nu’est will not lose their leader. That night, they ended their day drinking as much as they wanted, letting out every burden they carried for the past half year. They cried their eyes out, feeling every emotion flow out of their bodies.

The next morning is another rollercoaster ride. They sit, circling in the living room, painkillers in one hand and water in the ither hand. Their eyes go straight to one person, Minhyun.

"Don’t look at me like that. You know I didn’t want to be separated from you guys. If I can give up my place to Samuel, or Sewoon, I’d gladly accept it. I don’t want to do it guys."

"It’s fine Minhyun-ie,” Minki smiles, “It’s fine. You know we'll always here, waiting for you. It’s just one and half years, and not forever. It’s going to be fine. We can still meet up and hang out together. It’s just like you’re changing places to sleep, nothing more."

"I bet you'll make lots of money. Help us pay our debt? If maybe, just maybe, we'll survive after this. Don’t be a litle jerk that dumps us after you’re done with Wanna One," Baekho's words may sound harsh, but they all know that it’s just a cover.

Minhyun laughs, a little at least. "You know me. I will definitely come back here everytime I get a day off."

"You'll be fine, right? Over there?" 

"I’ll be fine. If anything happen, you'll be the first ones I tell."

Jonghyun put down his glass, The sound brought all the attention to him.

"Speaking of fine, you haven’t talk to us about you, hyung," He said to the oldest.

"Hm? I have no problem, and nothing special to share with you."

"But you haven’t talked to us about your condition, at all," Minki adds.

Aron squints, "Hm? I am fine?"

"You’re not fine, hyung, and we all know it. But we just keep silent because we thought you'd talk to us soon. But till the end, you’re haven’t."

Aron smiles. "Guys, you know I am always okay. I am fine. If something is wrong, you’re the first ones I will tell. And I promise you, you’ll will be the first ones."

They know they shouldn’t push Aron anymore. They know Aron isn’t fine.Aron knows himself that he isnt okay. They are talking, but mostly Aron is the one who listens. They are talking, but they know Aron to be the one that doesn’t speak about himself. They don’t want to push Aron for the time being, because they know the burden of the oldest member, being the only want that needed to stay. But all they know, right now, is that they’ve got Aron's back, and it’s time for them to be there for him, and they inteded to make sure Aron knows it. 

Jonghyun take Aron's hand and holds it tight, reassuring the older man that they are there for him. 

"Even if you’re not fine, if you’re not okay, its fine hyung. Because we are not fine too. It’s okay to not be fine. It’s always okay," Minki's voice is low and soothens the atmosphere.

Aron looks at his brother's eyes, one by one. He take a deep breath before saying, "I am not fine.”

END


End file.
